Achieveing

So over the past 2 months I’ve been completely up and down as you may have read in my posts, or noticed by my lack of blogging (I don’t like to blog when I’m down because it’s not fair for people to read it). However I have put on 2kg and grown 1 inch. Right now I see the 2kg as a massive achievement but obviously I have days where I don’t. I’ve started eating junk food occasionally too! And the other day I had something fried for the first time in I can’t even remember how long! It tasted amazing too, I wont lie.

 

I noticed today, as I was really down, that I get let down by my friends quite a lot which causes me to do stupid things like binge or over exercise so I’m not really sure how to cope with that, do I just stop trusting people or what? I just need to keep myself busy which is hard to do when no one seems to want to spend time with you.. but when I am around other people that I like, I am often a lot more relaxed but I suppose I can’t make them want to spend time with me haha!

I’ve learned that patience is very key in happiness so I think I’m going to try and be more patient!

The best feeling in the world

Ok so for most people it’s happiness, right? Or something else, it would be anything but it’s wrong. It’s contentment.

Contentment is the best feeling you can ever have and, in fact, when you are content, you’re even happier than when you’re happy.

I realised the other day that no one can be perfect and every single flaw we have is beautiful because flaws are what makes us, us. If everyone could do everything no one would be special. A lot of the time, people love us for our flaws rather than our perfections. I’ve always been told my smile is beautiful but my smile is far from flawless as I have a gap in between my two front teeth. People think beauty is perfection but it’s not. Beauty isn’t flawless. It’s flaws.

It’s hard to do but everyone should just accept their flaws and embrace them. Think about it-your flaws are beautiful so technically you are flawless.

Lonelieness

I just got really lonely and ended up binging madly. This is the problem whenever I feel down or alone I do it. I suppose this is what obese people do, I feel so disgusting like I’m going to be sick and I want to so badly all I can think about it how all the sugary foods I have eaten are going to go straight to my waist. I wish I could get the help I need, this feeling wont go away and I’m sick of myself. I don’t know what to do because I went on this no carb and no sugar diet for a week and ended up losing more weight but not off the places I wanted to lose it off (my waist basically) it ended up going from my ribs and my back and my neck and my chest. I look awful now, I don’t know how to fix it, the binge will make me put on weight but a lot of it was sugary so it’ll go straight to my waist 😦

I don’t really have many friends I can see or talk to, I miss being the funny person that everyone loved and wanted to talk to because I made them laugh, I am not that person anymore. Nobody wants to see me. I don’t even like myself so why would anyone else like me? I still so desperately want to lose weight because I want to look good, but I can’t do it, I just keep making myself ill or my parents stop me.

 

I need help and I can’t find it and I need friends but I can’t find them. i’m a mess

Don’t throw away the yolk!!!!!!!!!!!!

so many people throw away the egg yolk because it is “the most fattening part” or because it “has too much cholesterol”. Truth be told, eating an egg yolk will not make you gain weight if it’s part of a healthy lifestyle. We’re actually encouraged to eat 4-6 eggs a week! I make sure I eat an egg every other day at least! The yolk does contain cholesterol however this is a type of cholesterol that doesn’t actually contribute to blood cholesterol. The egg yolk contains omega 3, essential oils (this is where they might seem fattening but the oils are ESSENTIAL) and vitamins. The yolk is the most nutritious part so don’t throw it away! If you’re trying to be healthy or lose weight then carry on eating all your eggs just don’t fry them in a tonne of oil, I often have scrambled egg and I use a drizzle of olive oil to cook it in. Poached and boiled eggs are also very healthy!

Don’t throw away the yolk, you’re throwing away the most nutritious and delicious part! and wasting money!

Breakfast pizza

You can make this pizza however you want. The base is basically an omelette mixture with egg and a little milk andi’ve topped mine with tomatoes, olives and chicken. On it’s own it is only around 200 calories (depending on what you top it with) so I ate it with fruit and nuts.

It is very tasty and so easy to make you simply miz the egg and a drizzle of milk, fry a little oil (I use rapeseed) then cook the egg base as you would an omelette then just layer on your toppings, you could use cheese, meat, veg- anything! Because it is low calorie it should be combined with something else for breakfast but could be used as a quick snack on it’s own!

Make sure you eat your breakfast! and tell me any interesting breakfast ideas you have, I might try them out!!

Breakfast

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day for anyone who is gaining, sustaining and even losing and I can’t stress enough just how important breakfast is! When you are asleep your body is busy digesting foods which slows down your metabolism because you’re resting (boring science stuff I wont go into) but don’t worry because eating a good breakfast gives your metabolism a massive boost! At the moment I am OBSESSED with making sure my breakfasts are healthy and tasty so I think I am going to start blogging them, starting with today!

My protein packed yoghurt and nut filled chicken breast

to make it I used: 2 slices of chicken breast, 25g mixed nuts and gogi berries, 1 date and 2 dessert spoons of natural yoghurt. And I ate it with a bowl of watermelon and strawberries. If you need to know calories it comes to around 300 (depending on how much fruit you serve with it) and every singe one of those calories is nutrient packed.

So all I did was chop up my nuts and gogi berries in a blender so they were fine but still crunchy (around a similar size to the penuts in penut butter. When they were all chopped up I mixed in the yoghurt, took the chicken slices and spread the mixture over and rolled it up and then repeated with the other slice. I then used the extra bits as a side (as you can see in the photo) and chopped up the date to use as decoration like a flower (because I like my food to look pretty)

The combinations sound a bit weird but it was so tasty!!!!!!! so healthy too! so if you’re running out of exciting breakfast ideas, here you are!

my castle

I am completely obsessed with this castle that was in an island in the middle of the sea! it’s really cute and little! I wanted to go there but we didn’t know how but one day, it’ll be my house

img_0046.jpg

isle of man!

wedding!

so this weekend I went to my cousin’s wedding in the isle of man. I’d been really looking forward to it because it is so beautiful over there and I love weddings. After the excitement over how beautiful it was had fizzled down, I got ready for the wedding and went to see my cousins and one of them had lost so so much weight, she looks so tiny. I had a picture with her and I look so fat next to her, it made me really upset to look at the photo. I just wish I didn’t care about all of that and that I could just concentrate on enjoying being with my family.

 

I spent the next day on the beach and looking around the town though which was beautiful and made me happier, it is so lovely out there! I feel like I shouldn’t be blogging about this though because it’s made me worse, i’m making sure I eat less calories because of how fat I look in the photo and all I want to do is swim it off. I tried to cut out carbs for a few days but it just made me crave sugars and I ended up bingeing on chocolate 😦

so don’t cut out carbs, you’ll probably gain in the long run you need them for energy and basically for being alive.

 

take care.

no matter how real it feels, it probably isn’t

a problem I have a lot with my anxiety is that I feel like there’s something wrong with my heart, it feels painful and tense and it makes me upset and on edge but after several trips to accident and emergency, 3 egc scans and a bloody test, I have been told my medical experts that my heart is 100% fine. Apparently, the problems I feel in my chest are caused by anxiety. They feel so real and i’m sure a lot of people feel like this.

Just think about dreams, when you’re having a dream it feels like real life, right? then you wake up and it’s back to your normal life? but sometimes it felt so real that your mind can change the memory and make it feel like it actually happened for example when I was younger, I had a dream that I went on holiday to china with my family. When I bought up a memory of something we’d done in china a few years later, my family were all very confused and we worked out that it had all been a dream but because it had felt so real to me, it had changed into a memory.

This sort of thing actually happens a lot, your memories change to how you think/want them to be.

The thoughts I get are irrational and so many people with anxiety get them, you can get them about almost anything! and they feel so real but it probably isn’t! If you are told it’s not real by a medical expert-it definitely isn’t. So don’t worry!

No matter how real it feels, don’t let it take over your life. I let mine take over my a-levels which I can pick up but you can’t always pick everything back up. Be positive and be happy because everyone deserves to be happy.

Just remember-it’s not real